The Basterdly son..

[Steve M]

An old guy and his son had a one-mule farm where they eked out a living. One day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000.

He rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home, where he told his father the good news, and handed him a $50 bill.

The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you know I've always been careful with what little money we had.

I didn't spend it on whiskey or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford a license to legally marry your Ma."

"Pa!" the son exclaims, "do you know what that makes me?"

"Sure do," said the old guy fingering the fifty-dollar bill. "And a damn cheap one, too.

[Steve M]

In a last ditch effort he posts a cat picture.. Overwhelmed by the pressure Steve M lies down on the couch.   

[Mr]

Now that you added cat, reminds me of mouse that eeked out a living...
until caught by cat and he eeked out of life. 

[Steve M]

[quote]Now that you added cat, reminds me of mouse that eeked out a living...
until caught by cat and he eeked out of life.

[CHUCK79]

I can't help but laugh out loud every time I look at that photo

[H]

...over 50 years ago I had a toy that shot corks right at my younger brothers eye!!

We were possibly 2nd or 3rd grade, playing with toy soldiers, when my friend (yeah, I've had some) said, "Pretend you don't see [this platoon] sneaking in over here."
Mattel and others made toy guns and cannon that spring-fired plastic ammo -- coincidentally, I had a cannon pointed in that direction and, while looking elsewhere, I pressed the cannon's trigger: my friend hollered, shot in the eye.

By the way, Corky, the spelling is Bastardly -- unless he's a $'ithead, whereupon you (not I... I'm too polite) might replace the 2nd 'a' with a 'u'.