Corn

[U4EA]

Escalator Rules Causing Me To Take The Stairs:

I came upon an escalator and on the base of the device it had a sign stating:

[glow=yellow,2,300]Must Carry Dog on Escalator[/glow]

I walked around but could not find a dog!

[FoxThree]

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The
farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.
"Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us.
Then I'll help you get the wagon up."
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would
like me to."
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now,
but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish !" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is
he?"
"Under the wagon."

[U4EA]

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick pervert.

[patchz]

What did the lonely sailor say?

"Ahoy Buoy". 

[Steve M]

Not a one liner but here goes..
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want!'"

[Bud Greene]

Not a one liner but here goes..
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want!'"

Nice! 
Hmmm. I think I would have looked for her cash and credit cards first.

[Bud Greene]

What do you get if you deep fry Father Christmas?
Crisp Cringle.

[Steve M]

AKA Cris P Cringle

[Bud Greene]

AKA Cris P Cringle

Not to be confused with his cousin, the crispy Mr. Pringle.

[patchz]

I thought they already had that....


in the form of potato chips in a can.

[BrandonF]

Not a one liner but here goes..
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want!'"

Since he got the bike, I know what I'm taking, then! 

[Bud Greene]

What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaay!

[CHUCK79]

What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaay!