Corn

What are you laughing at?

Re: Corn

Postby U4EA » Wed May 25, 2011 9:24 pm

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
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Re: Corn

Postby patchz » Wed May 25, 2011 9:43 pm

;D ;D ;D
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Re: Corn

Postby Radio Homer » Thu May 26, 2011 3:41 pm

A blonde goes to the hospital to know whether she is pregnant or not. The doctor does a scan and tells her she is going to have twins. The blonde bursts out in tears and the doctor asks why? He asks , do you not want twins? The blonde says, no, its just, i dont know who the 2nd dad is!!
Here to help and get help!!!

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Re: Corn

Postby Steve M » Thu May 26, 2011 5:12 pm

I walked into a car showroom last night.

I said to the salesman, "My wife would like to talk to you about the Volkswagen Golf in the window."

He said, "We don't have a Volkswagen Golf in the window."

I said, "You do now."
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Re: Corn

Postby Steve M » Thu May 26, 2011 5:14 pm

My mail box, has nine letters in it.  8-)
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Re: Corn

Postby H » Sat May 28, 2011 1:13 pm

Did you hear about the on-site conference for corn harvesters?
They were all ears.

Why didn't the nobleman publish his story?
He only had one page.



8-)
Last edited by H on Mon May 30, 2011 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Corn

Postby U4EA » Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:01 am

Anyone hear about the guy that ran into a crowded firehouse and yelled; "MOVIE, MOVIE, MOVIE!!!"




Didn't think so. :D
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Re: Corn

Postby TacitBlue » Wed Jun 08, 2011 7:39 pm

Anyone hear about the guy that ran into a crowded firehouse and yelled; "MOVIE, MOVIE, MOVIE!!!"


;D ;D ;D

That's not corn, that's funny! Hope you don't mind, but I'm borrowing that for my facebook status. I always try to come up with a funny status but today I was drawing a blank. ;)
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Re: Corn

Postby Ang2dogs » Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:51 pm

What did one twin fetus say to the other one while in the womb?


Lets make like babies and head out!
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Re: Corn

Postby U4EA » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:10 pm

Anyone hear about the guy that ran into a crowded firehouse and yelled; "MOVIE, MOVIE, MOVIE!!!"


;D ;D ;D

That's not corn, that's funny! Hope you don't mind, but I'm borrowing that for my facebook status. I always try to come up with a funny status but today I was drawing a blank. ;)


Actually! It's not a joke.
Last edited by U4EA on Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Corn

Postby Steve M » Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:56 pm

Whenever you are in big trouble.. Push Alt + F4  8-)
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Re: Corn

Postby B-Valvs » Sat Jun 11, 2011 1:05 pm

I'm not sure if anyone knows the old Tonight Show routine "Carnac the Magnificent," but here are some funny ones from that:

A: Planter's Punch.
Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts?

A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer."
Q: What are two bad names for a laxative?

A: Gatorade.
Q: What does an alligator get on welfare?

A: High rollers.
Q: Describe a stoned bowling team.

A: "Follow the yellow brick road."
Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office?

A: Flypaper.
Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper?

A:  Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah!
Q.  Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!

A: The Orient express.
Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice?

http://www.nightscribe.com/Politics/carnacquotes.htm

Here's a clip for those not familiar:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnwyQFe3wRA

8-)
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Re: Corn

Postby patchz » Sat Jun 11, 2011 2:22 pm

I think you just made Johnny smile. I can just see Ed getting tickled at him.
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Re: Corn

Postby TacitBlue » Sat Jun 11, 2011 8:55 pm

I saw a sign that read "Huge DVD sale".

I would go, but I don't have a huge DVD player. ::)
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Re: Corn

Postby patchz » Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:53 am

I saw a sign that read "Huge DVD sale".

I would go, but I don't have a huge DVD player. ::)

And Vaudeville makes it to the 21st Century, successfully, I might add.
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