A few jokes

[SeanTK]

At a recent job interview:

What would you consider to be your main
weaknesses and strengths?

Well my main weakness would be my issues with
reality, telling what's real from what's not.

And your strengths?

I'm Batman.
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The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for
other people to notice you.

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Schizophrenia - together I can beat it.

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Finally managed a slam-dunk today. Tea everywhere.

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I bet that Chilean miner, who promised to marry his girlfriend if he was rescued, put up a good fight before they finally got him into the rescue pod!

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I have to congratulate the trapped miners. That is
by far the best plan I've seen to get away from
your wife to hang out with your mates in a long
time.

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My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text
back with my balance.

It's a cool feature but I didn't think the 'LOL'
was necessary.
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I'm using guinea pigs as guinea pigs to see if I
like guinea pigs.

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Pre-rescue Chilean miner jokes:

The 33 trapped miners in Chile are now being
supplied with rice and beans. And relatives have
lit candles around the entrance.

They haven't thought this through.

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If David Blaine is in the capsule when it comes
up, I'm gonna s*** myself.

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Let's put the doll from 'Saw' down to the trapped
miners first before the rescue,see how their sense
of humour is holding up.

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I really hope the first miner out raises his fists
in triumph, stops, pats his pockets, says
"Keys!" and gets back in the pod.

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[Souichiro]

Epic post! especially the first one!

[H]

One of these reminds me of an actual telecast news report, many moons ago, during prepations for a space flight:
"The astronauts had a breakfast of eggs, toast and bacon this morning... which should be coming up shortly."

8-)

[patchz]

One of these reminds me of an actual telecast news report, many moons ago, during prepations for a space flight:
"The astronauts had a breakfast of eggs, toast and bacon this morning... which should be coming up shortly."

8-)

You forgot about the Tang.

[Fozzer]

"The 33 trapped miners in Chile are now being
supplied with rice and beans. And relatives have
lit candles around the entrance."

"....They haven't thought this through."

.... ... ... ...!

Paul...stand clear!.... ...!

[B_7772]