Truths For Mature Humans

[ApplePie]

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19. My friends will say that I do this all the time. It must really piss them off after a while. Ultimately, I do just ignore it. Of course, it doesn't work when they asked you a question and neither of you know why you're now staring at each other with a blank stare.

[B-Valvs]

[quote][quote][quote][quote]
19. My friends will say that I do this all the time. It must really piss them off after a while. Ultimately, I do just ignore it. Of course, it doesn't work when they asked you a question and neither of you know why you're now staring at each other with a blank stare.

[Groundbound1]

[quote][quote][quote][quote][quote]
19. My friends will say that I do this all the time. It must really piss them off after a while. Ultimately, I do just ignore it. Of course, it doesn't work when they asked you a question and neither of you know why you're now staring at each other with a blank stare.

[U4EA]

Mind if I continue your listings?

25. The dog always will be happier than you are... and his brain can't even understand how a refrigerator door works.

26. Sometimes, life just gets in the way. Roll with it.

27. You think you have a good memory until you find that old combination lock.

28. You really don't feel old until your kid realizes you really aren't that strong, smart or important.

29. No, MY wife is always right.

30. The secret to a happy marriage is to be able to say, "uh huh" in a convincing tone.

31. Why is it my teenager can tell me exactly how much our carbon footprint is but still won't turn off a light in any room she has been in?

32. Another sign of age? When you get used to that limp you have first thing in the morning.

33. We used to discuss all of our problems with friends over a cigarette and a cup of coffee. Now our problems ARE cigarettes and coffee.

34. The pisser is that teenage acne never really goes away. It just moves to other less obvious but more painful and embarrassing places.

35. You really shouldn't fire the first person that refers to you as "the old man".

[H]

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

No need, 'though somewhat embarrassing... the history on my computer(s) is a series of crashes.

5. Just how the hell exactly are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Fit and proper

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

In a round-about way.

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Might someone ask, "Then why haven't you?"

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

That's the point when I actually know that it's three hairs past a missing freckle  --- and I've realized I'm not wearing my watch.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

I can't verify this -- I don't even wake up during the procedure.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Ladies.....Quit Laughing.)

That's because they weren't hit from behind as often in the early days so the 'cup' served the purpose. [...think about that one].

8-)