Truths For Mature Humans

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Truths For Mature Humans

Postby Groundbound1 » Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:11 am

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. Just how the hell exactly are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Ladies.....Quit Laughing.)

;)
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby patchz » Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:25 am

[color=#000000]You've been spying on me again, haven't you.
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby Fozzer » Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:49 am

"22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is."

Every time....

....without fail!... :-[....!

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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby Hagar » Sat Sep 04, 2010 12:54 pm

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

Pants is/are underwear where I come from. Ergo they get dirty.

Why is it called a pair of pants or knickers (plural) when a shirt or a bra is singular? :D
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby Steve M » Sat Sep 04, 2010 2:01 pm

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?




I'll be guilty of this one.. :)
Last edited by Steve M on Sat Sep 04, 2010 2:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby ApplePie » Sat Sep 04, 2010 4:11 pm

5. Just how the hell exactly are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Follow the seams and find the corners, then fold.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

My Freezer has a light. :D
[center][url=http://www.mysimshots.net/photosearch.php?icao=&id=&airport=&aircraft=&country=&airline=&photographer=ApplePie&flightsim=&viewtype=&remarks=&page=&date=&order=views+desc][img]http://www.simviati
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby BrandonF » Sat Sep 04, 2010 4:39 pm

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

I do this all the time!  :-[ ;D
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby B_7772 » Sat Sep 04, 2010 5:11 pm

"9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired."

I'm young and that applies to me, I gress I'm just really, REALLY lazy. ;D
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby Fozzer » Sat Sep 04, 2010 5:34 pm

5. Just how the hell exactly are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Follow the seams and find the corners, then fold.



My Fitted Cotton Sheets don't have corners.
They are just elasticated, and rounded off, to fit tightly under the mattress at each corner
I've never been able to fold them flat, they just finish rolled-up as a big ball, and quickly stuffed into a cupboard!

Paul.... ;D... ;D...!
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby Steve M » Sat Sep 04, 2010 6:32 pm

5. Just how the hell exactly are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Follow the seams and find the corners, then fold.



My Fitted Cotton Sheets don't have corners.
They are just elasticated, and rounded off, to fit tightly under the mattress at each corner
I've never been able to fold them flat, they just finish rolled-up as a big ball, and quickly stuffed into a cupboard!

Paul.... ;D... ;D...!



Believe me, Fozz is right, It seems to be more fussing than its worth. Just wad it up and jam it in the back of a closet!
Last edited by Steve M on Sat Sep 04, 2010 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby B-Valvs » Sat Sep 04, 2010 8:12 pm

Unfortunately, #2 happens to me far to often. (Wow, that sounds bad now that I read it back. I assure you, I mean the second point on the list ;) )

4 is absolutely true.

6. Well, I write in cursive all the time. I hate having to print because it's so slow.

I reach point 11 at school at least once a day. I reach point 11 again while doing my homework.

13. That one always freaks me out. :D

15. My freezer does have a light.
Last edited by B-Valvs on Sat Sep 04, 2010 8:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby ApplePie » Sat Sep 04, 2010 8:45 pm

5. Just how the hell exactly are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Follow the seams and find the corners, then fold.



My Fitted Cotton Sheets don't have corners.
They are just elasticated, and rounded off, to fit tightly under the mattress at each corner
I've never been able to fold them flat, they just finish rolled-up as a big ball, and quickly stuffed into a cupboard!

Paul.... ;D... ;D...!



Believe me, Fozz is right, It seems to be more fussing than its worth. Just wad it up and jam it in the back of a closet!
[center][url=http://www.mysimshots.net/photosearch.php?icao=&id=&airport=&aircraft=&country=&airline=&photographer=ApplePie&flightsim=&viewtype=&remarks=&page=&date=&order=views+desc][img]http://www.simviati
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby patchz » Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:54 pm

[quote]
19. My friends will say that I do this all the time. It must really piss them off after a while. Ultimately, I do just ignore it. Of course, it doesn't work when they asked you a question and neither of you know why you're now staring at each other with a blank stare.
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby Fozzer » Sun Sep 05, 2010 2:45 am

"19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?".

..that is what is finally convincing me that I am slowly going deaf...
I am now saying; "Pardon?", far too many times for my liking!... :-[...!

I am booked into hospital (ENT Dept.) for a "hearing check" next month...
...I find that I am having to turn up the volume on my Radio and Tele far too much, for everyone else's comfort....I am missing the "s"'s and "t"'s in speech, and the highest drawbar frequencies on my Hammond Organ are getting lost in the stratosphere!
When I turn up the volume to hear high frequencies, the sound pressure waves of the lowest frequencies become physically painful!

...pardon?....

Paul... ;)... ;)...!

...its all to do with; "getting old".... :'(...!

.... ;D....!
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Re: Truths For Mature Humans

Postby B-Valvs » Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:49 am

[quote][quote]
19. My friends will say that I do this all the time. It must really piss them off after a while. Ultimately, I do just ignore it. Of course, it doesn't work when they asked you a question and neither of you know why you're now staring at each other with a blank stare.
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