Questions!

[U4EA]

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME 



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   Can you cry under water? 



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   How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 



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   Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?  Where's that extra penny going? 



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   Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? 



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Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 



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What disease did cured ham actually have? 



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   How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 



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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? 



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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 



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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 



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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 



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   Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. 



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   Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? 



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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? 



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   If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? 



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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? 



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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 



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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! 



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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? 



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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Babies? 



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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? 



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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? 



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Why did you just try singing the two songs above? 



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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? 



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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? 



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[patchz]

There are some real jewels there.

[Triple_7]

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?  Where's that extra penny going? 

Taxes

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? 

Its a conspiracy with the bread industry to make more money

[H]

Just been informed these computers shut down in a few minutes so I can only answer a few of these for you:


[quote]Can you cry under water?

[TacitBlue]

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

I always hated this one, it doesn't make any sense. I mean Uranus is outside the hemisphere too.

H, I always like reading you're replies to these type of questions. The last two were great.

[CHUCK79]

They're all funny... and H, you didn't skip a beat,great replies

[H]

I'll try to answer a few more. However, soime of these seem to be quite personally directed... :-?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

In my case, that's about the way I sleep... except I try to keep the wetting part in the toilet.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

The judge does the 'hearing' and, often, the defendandant doesn't want to hear it, anyway.

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

At this point in time, I've been in a recent move but not a movie and I'm a bit short on furniture; since I currently haven't cable nor antenna, the TV may as well be useful.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Have you tried climbing the things on the ground to see their tops. Which giant are you intending to ask to bend over?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

They want to make sure they keep their composure during your visit and their laughter for later.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

You've given me one I'm unsure of -- one raises a couple of points but the other puts it full of holes

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

That's the old-fashioned 'dieter's' setting.

[quote]If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?