========================
An elderly gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
'Yes, Dad, what is it?'
'Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ageing:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
---------------------------------
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zip.
But it's worse when you forget to pull it down...
---------------------------------
Long ago when people cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old geezers were pushing their carts around Sainsbury's when they collided.
The first old geezer said to the second old geezer, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'
The second old geezer said, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'
The first old chap said, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?'
The second old chap said, 'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?'
To which the first old chap said, 'Doesn't matter, let's look for yours!'
...!
.. 
... 
...!
