Old joke still applies to the present

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Old joke still applies to the present

Postby Steve M » Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:56 pm

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have tobuy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, andyou would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
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Re: Old joke still applies to the present

Postby Anxyous » Fri Jan 23, 2009 1:31 pm

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Re: Old joke still applies to the present

Postby DaveSims » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:42 pm

7,8, and 12 seem to be getting closer and closer with many new vehicles.
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Re: Old joke still applies to the present

Postby Brando14100 » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:44 pm

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

8-)
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Re: Old joke still applies to the present

Postby specter177 » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:07 pm

13 is already here!
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Re: Old joke still applies to the present

Postby Mazza » Fri Jan 23, 2009 8:34 pm

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D














;D
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Re: Old joke still applies to the present

Postby HarvesteR » Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:33 am

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we're getting there, slowly but surely, we're getting there  ;) ;D ;D ;D
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Re: Old joke still applies to the present

Postby H » Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:14 pm

we're getting there, slowly but surely, we're getting there
From the moment vehicles were first disputerized... I mean computerized.


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Re: Old joke still applies to the present

Postby Mushroom_Farmer » Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:15 pm

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, andyou would just accept this, restart and drive on.

This already actually happens, and more often than you might think.
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"We're just sitting here trying to put our PCjrs in a pile and burn them. And the damn things won't burn. That's the only thing IBM did right with it - they made i
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