Kids are quick or why I left teaching.....

[ozzy72]

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:       Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:        Maria.

TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:     Me!

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:        Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE:          I is..
TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:          All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'    

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.   Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.  
 
TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
 
TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :       No, sir.  It's the same dog.

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:       A teacher

[ShaneG_old]

These are great! Really liked the George Washington one.

[Romulus111VADT]

I remember being in class and the in room intercom came on. The office secretary said to my teacher, "Mrs. Gillespie, your husband called and would like you to pick him up from the animal hospital on your way home." I chimed in, "Hey Mrs. Gillespie, whats he in for?" The teacher as well as the class cracked up. She informed us that he was a veterinarian.

Man even in the 9th grade I was a smartass....

[Dr.bob7]

last one is pretty good  ;D

[a1]

[Mushroom_Farmer]

 ;D Loved it, sent it on for others to enjoy.

[Steve M]

First one's pretty clever too.

[Brando14100]

I love the one about praying before eating.



8-)

[BigTruck]

I remember being in class and the in room intercom came on. The office secretary said to my teacher, "Mrs. Gillespie, your husband called and would like you to pick him up from the animal hospital on your way home." I chimed in, "Hey Mrs. Gillespie, whats he in for?" The teacher as well as the class cracked up. She informed us that he was a veterinarian.

Man even in the 9th grade I was a smartass....

Nothing has changed over the years, eh Rom?  

I love the report on the same dog lol

[N. Chapman]

oh man i should use that H to O one on my Chemistry teacher.  ;D

[T1MT1M]

[quote]
TEACHER:

[H]

I love the one about praying before eating. ["Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
"No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook."]

Not quite the same but it reminds me of an incident when I was 15 and my aunt slopped the peas and their juice onto my mashed potatoes:

H:            "Hey, I'm not going eat that now."
H's DAD:  "Eat it... it all goes to the same place!'
H:            "Have you ever tasted it after it has!"
My dad turned his face away as both he and my aunt began to chuckle.

8-)

[Wii]

TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

[BFMF]

lol, that's hilarious...

[beaky]

The one about the dog... !!!