Why Is It? (updated)

What are you laughing at?

Why Is It? (updated)

Postby Ravang » Sat Oct 04, 2008 3:42 pm

*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

*Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

*Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

*Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

*How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

*When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

*Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

[edit]Some more...
*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

*Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

*Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

*Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

*Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

*Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

*Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

*Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

*If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?[/edit]
Last edited by Ravang on Sat Oct 04, 2008 7:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Ravang
Ground hog
Ground hog
 
Posts: 0
Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:40 pm
Location: South Carolina, USA

Re: Why Is It?

Postby Romulus111VADT » Sat Oct 04, 2008 4:19 pm

*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is do to the sudsing agent- All soap, whether it's bath soap, laundry soap, dish washing soap, bubble bath, etc, etc. employs a sudsing agent so people will think they are cleaning better.

*Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
When the store is near a brothel.... ;)

*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Stupidity

*Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Graduates from Moron U.

*Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
Try starting for the opposite end you normally would....lmao

*How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? Ancient Chinese Secret

*When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
I normally do and wack them with my cane and ask if that's a fair trade..... ;)

*Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Last edited by Romulus111VADT on Sat Oct 04, 2008 4:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Former member
Romulus111VADT
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4898
Joined: Thu May 02, 2002 7:48 am

Re: Why Is It?

Postby ShaneG_old » Sat Oct 04, 2008 6:22 pm

When the store is near a brothel[/color].... ;)


LMFAO!!!!! ;D ;D I almost fell out of my chair over this one!! ;D ;D ;D
ShaneG_old
Lieutenant Colonel
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Posts: 9700
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:52 am

Re: Why Is It? (updated)

Postby Brando14100 » Sat Oct 04, 2008 9:13 pm

These things are so true.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

My business teacher just said that one about kamakazi pilots in class on Friday.

8-)
Brando14100
 

Re: Why Is It? (updated)

Postby H » Sun Oct 05, 2008 3:42 am

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
[color=#003300]Just an
H
Lieutenant Colonel
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Posts: 5525
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 1:27 am
Location: NH, USA

Re: Why Is It? (updated)

Postby Groundbound1 » Sun Oct 05, 2008 4:55 pm

Why is it , that your hair doesn't itch until AFTER you cut it?
Last edited by Groundbound1 on Sun Oct 05, 2008 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Groundbound1
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1670
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2007 10:59 am
Location: Michigan, USA

Re: Why Is It? (updated)

Postby Romulus111VADT » Sun Oct 05, 2008 5:05 pm

Why is it , that your hair doesn't itch until AFTER you cut it?


My hair has never itched.... :-?

My face might have after not shaving for awhile and I'm sure since having a beard for 20 years it would itch like crazy if I shaved it off.

Now I do seem to remember my teeth itching pretty badly when I use to drink and I was totally shitfaced at the time.... ;)

:)
Former member
Romulus111VADT
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4898
Joined: Thu May 02, 2002 7:48 am

Re: Why Is It? (updated)

Postby BFMF » Sun Oct 05, 2008 5:30 pm

*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?


I don't take baths, let alone bubble baths, so I wouldn't know... ;D


*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?


If you leave stuff in there long enough, new things DO grow... ;D
BFMF
Colonel
Colonel
 
Posts: 16266
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2002 6:06 pm
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Why Is It? (updated)

Postby Wii » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:18 pm

*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?


I don't take baths, let alone bubble baths, so I wouldn't know... ;D


*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?


If you leave stuff in there long enough, new things DO grow... ;D

;D
and
That didn't use to be blue...hmmm
User avatar
Wii
Major
Major
 
Posts: 2727
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:33 pm
Location: Space


Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 558 guests