On Sainsbury's peanuts -- 'Warning: contains nuts.'
(talk about a news flash)
=================================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.'
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
==================================
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- 'Product will be hot after heating.'
(...and you thought????...)
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On a Sears hairdryer -- 'Do not use while sleeping.'
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
====================================
On a bag of Frito's -- 'You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.'
(the shoplifter special?)
====================================
On a bar of Dial soap -- 'Directions: Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be???....)
====================================
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- 'Serving suggestion: Defrost.'
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
====================================
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- 'Do not iron clothes on body.'
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
====================================
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- 'Warning: May cause drowsiness.'
(..I'm taking this because???.....)
====================================
On most brands of Christmas lights --'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to what?)
====================================
On a Japanese food processor -- 'Not to be used for the other use.'
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
=====================================
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- 'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'
(Step 3: say what?)
=====================================
On a child's Superman costume -- 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
======================================
On a Swedish chainsaw -- 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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...!
