Have you seen this man

[Al_Fallujah]

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was  really angry. She told him  "tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in  the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!! "

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work.  Then his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

If you see Ed, please contact Missing Persons at 1-800...

[Ashar]

LMAO!!!

[Romulus111VADT]

My ex-wife would have gone 0-300 in under 6 seconds.... :evil

She went on to be a fashion model for , "The Lardass Look" line of clothing.....

[Mike..]

My ex-wife would have gone 0-300 in under 6 seconds.... :evil

She went on to be a fashion model for , "The Lardass Look" line of clothing.....

I have heard of this fashion line. The plus sizes correct? You know....

Extra Large

D a m n !

and of coarse OH MY GOD IT"S MOVING TOWARDS US!!!!


Mike

[Romulus111VADT]

My ex-wife would have gone 0-300 in under 6 seconds.... :evil

She went on to be a fashion model for , "The Lardass Look" line of clothing.....

I have heard of this fashion line. The plus sizes correct? You know....

Extra Large

D a m n !

and of coarse OH MY GOD IT"S MOVING TOWARDS US!!!!


Mike

My ex-wife went to a beach once and hesitated to go into the water when someone on the beach made a comment that a passing clipper ship was an old fashioned whaler.....

I can here the guys on the clipper ship, "OMG, it's Moby Dicks momma!"  :D

[ozzy72]

You know someone is fat when you're with my friends little boy. He was standing in a check-out queue in a supermarket when the womans mobile went off for an SMS with the old beep-beep-beep and the little lad sad "Watch out she's backing up"

[Romulus111VADT]

You know someone is fat when you're with my friends little boy. He was standing in a check-out queue in a supermarket when the womans mobile went off for an SMS with the old beep-beep-beep and the little lad sad "Watch out she's backing up"

I remember years ago watching a cartoon with my son called "Ren and Stimpy". They had this one show when both were firemen. They responded to a skyscraper fire. I can't remember which one was which, but the little one hollered for this fat woman to jump. She did and fell and fell, her butt caught of fire like spacecraft do during re-entry....lmao.....I mean this woman looked like a frigging incoming meteorite! The poor little guy look up and just said, "Oh my dear Lord!" and she hit leaving a crater....lmfao.

I hadn't laughed that hard in years because all I could think of was my ex-wife doing the same thing!

[ozzy72]

Let us hope for the sake of California that your ex never moves to within say 200 miles of the San Andreas fault

[Romulus111VADT]

Let us hope for the sake of California that your ex never moves to within say 200 miles of the San Andreas fault

You got that right!

Once she was sitting on the toilet and I was standing at the sink shaving. I looked back in the mirror and saw her leaning to one side...lmao....with this really bizarre look on her face. She struggled and leaned back the other way. All of a sudden I hear this cracking of wood and CRASH! The toilet had gone through the floor! With her still sitting on it...lmao! I thought I'd go into cardiac arrest from lmfao!

I helped her up and suggested going on a diet and I got a very cheerful FU out of her. She had her father come over and fix it because she was to embarrassed to call anyone else. As it were that poor man almost passed out from laughing his a-s-s off.

When he got done, I was teasing her and asked him if he'd used 2X6's to reinforce the floor. He said, "nope 2X8's !" and he was serious, he really did use 2X8's!

[Dr.bob7]

LMAO

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