You might be a Redneck Pilot if.......

[Papa9571]

... your stall warning plays "Dixie."
... your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
... you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
... you've ever used moonshine as avgas.
... you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
... you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
... your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
... you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
... just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
... you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
... you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
... you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
... you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
... you wouldn't be caught dead flying' a Grumman "Yankee."
... you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!"
... there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic
   tank service.
... when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.
... you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
... you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
... you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase "That's a big 10-4!"
... you typically answer female controllers with titles like "sugar" or
   "little darlin'."
... if she responds with the words "Honey" or "Big guy" then she may be a
   redneck to.
... you have ever used a relief tube as a spittoon.
... you glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number.
... you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her
   doublewide.
... the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains "Case
   of Bud."
... your go/no-go checklist includes the words "Skoal" or "Redman."

[expat]

If you have ever had to tow a banner to defend your sisters honor after a Prom.
If you think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
If there is more than one pilot in the company called "Darryl" and your copilot is named "Cletus"
If you consider your owners plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
If you have a rag for a gas cap.
If the value of your aircraft  goes up and down depending on how much fuel it has in it.
If you have an 8-trackplayer where your Bendix set should be.
If you use a NASCAR credit card to pay for your fuel.

[Jared]

Somewhere on your airplane is an "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.

[Jared]

You call up the tower with "Breaker Breaker"

[Jared]

There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.

[Jared]

You've ground looped after hitting a cow.

[Jared]

You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.

[NDSP]

And people complain about me double posting  [smiley=smiley_up.gif] [smiley=smiley_up.gif]

[TacitBlue]

If the doors on your plane don't match the fuselage.*
If there is bondo anywhere on your plane.
Fuzzy dice in the cockpit.
Gunrack in the window.
Chewing tobacco stains down the side.

*Old 60U that I was learning/will be learning to fly in again soon had a mismatched cowl on her for a week or two because the original had some kind of problem. She is back to normal now.  ;)