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Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.
Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?"
They draw straws. Liam Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.
"Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me"
Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door Mrs. Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares: "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home"
"Tell him to drop dead!" says Murphy's wife.
"I'll go tell him." says Gallagher
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There is a mirror that if you tell it a lie you are sucked into the mirror but if you tell the truth you are given money. A brunette walks up to the mirror and says, "I think I am the tallest person in the world," and shazam she is sucked into the mirror. A few minutes later a ginger haired person walks up to the mirror and says, "I think I am the fattest person in the world," and shazam she is sucked into the mirror. The next day a blonde walks up to the mirror. She stares deep into it and says, "I think," and shazam...
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