HUMOR - For Lexophiles (or Punsters

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HUMOR - For Lexophiles (or Punsters

Postby Jared » Thu Jan 11, 2007 2:42 pm

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
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Re: HUMOR - For Lexophiles (or Punsters

Postby Tchkinjiu » Thu Jan 11, 2007 3:04 pm

Man...I think I cringed like 25/29 times reading that :-X  But, if any, I liked 16  :P
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Re: HUMOR - For Lexophiles (or Punsters

Postby H » Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:08 am

#23 should be: When you've seen one shopping center you've seen the mall. ;)


8-)
Last edited by H on Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HUMOR - For Lexophiles (or Punsters

Postby TacitBlue » Sun Jan 14, 2007 8:04 pm

LOL, I laughed at most of them. I'm saving this list now in my "Funny" folder. :D
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Re: HUMOR - For Lexophiles (or Punsters

Postby Giteen » Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:11 pm

Simple humor ROCKS! Some make me think to hard-(it's a sign of intellegence, dont ask) ::)
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