1. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family
were avid bowlers. However, all the Swiss league records
were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never
know for whom the Tells Bowled.
2. A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted
"Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly
responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a
little patient."
3. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically
engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were
fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the
birds ran out. So he had to go out and trap some more.
On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road.
Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them.
Immediately, he was arrested and charged with
transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal
porpoises.
4. A thief broke into the local police station and stole
all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A
spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely
nothing to go on."
5. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned
the medicine man. After a brief examination, the
medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide
and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off,
chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day.
After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the
chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The
thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
6. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and
found his name missing from the town register. His wife
insisted on complaining to the local civic official who
apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off
my census."
7. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer
skin, one slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a
hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant and the
first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the
hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that
the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of
the squaws of the other two hides.
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