TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH!!!
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask. We refuse to answer.
Don't cut your hair. EVER. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair and by then you're stuck with her.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. And don't ask us what we ARE thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation or monster trucks.
Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
And by the way, "shopping" is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want and let's be absolutely clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just fuckin' say it!!!!
We don't know what day it is and never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
Peeing standing up is far more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of
30, would look good with that dress?
Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
Check your damn oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle - we're going to anyway - it's genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something, but not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
ALL men see in 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
If it itches, it WILL be scratched. Live with it.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
And finally, if we ask what's wrong and you say, "Nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong.
By the way, we know you're lying .... it's just not worth the hassle.
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