Saw this on another forum.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish................................49.
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No breasts.
Averagelooking....................Moooo.
Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
EmotionallySecure................On medication.
Feminist................................Fat.
Freespirit............................Junkie.
Friendshipfirst......................Former slut.
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.......................No Oral.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional..........................B***h.
Voluptuous..........................VeryFat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soulmate..................Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry =You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead= You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset= Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry =I am hungry
2. I am sleepy =I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress =Nice cleavage!
5. I love you =Let's have sex now
6. I am bored =Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
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