Pilot: Apron, Interflug 195, requesting start-up.
Apron: Sorry, Interflug 195, we don't have your flight plan. What is your destination ?
Pilot: As always on Monday, we're flying to Leipzig.
Apron: But it's Tuesday today!
Pilot: What? Tuesday is our day off!
Pilot: Tower, there's a runway light burning.
Tower: I'm sure there must be dozens of lights burning.
Pilot: Sorry, I mean it's smoking.
Tower: Delta Bravo Charlie, your squawk is really seven-zero-four-six?
Pilot: Affirmative.
Tower: I'll send you an excavator, your heigth is minus nine-zero feet.
Pilot trainee: Lichtenfels info, DEITN, turning base right for runway two-two for go and touch.
Tower: DEITN, I got a request: Please first touch and then go.
Pilot: FLX three-zero, Tower, we're running out of fuel, please advise!
Tower: What's your position, I don't have radar contact!
Pilot: We're lined up for runway two-nine and would like to know where the fuel truck is.
Tower: Washington D.C., Clearance Delivery: German Air Force 269, you are cleared to Destination Indian Springs via after take off radar vectors to 4000 feet thereafter present position direct BOM do not pass BOM at 6000 feet or below after passing 15000 feet turn right on heading 280 to intercept j156 direct ZZT thereafter intercept j158 own navigation read back.
Pilot: GAF 269: Roger German Air Force 269 is cleared to Destination Indian Springs via after take off radar vectors to 4000 feet thereafter present position direct BOM do not pass BOM at 6000 feet or below after passing 15000 feet turn right on heading 280 to intercept j156 direct ZZT thereafter intercept j158 own navigation and I need another pencil.
Tower: What's your heigth and position?
Pilot: Well, I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left.
Pilot: Tower, please call me a fuel truck.
Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.