I was standing in a line at a convenience store once, waiting to check out. There was this EXTREMELY well endowed woman in line (we're talking Dolly Parton in size). A gentlemen was meandering in line and would move along as it did. He'd look when the line moved and then he'd look back and become transfixed on the woman's enormous chest. Well as he got up to the check out, the cashier asked what he'd like. He looked at her and w/o missing a beat said, "A couple of nice tits!" As you can imagine, the entire store erupted into unimaginable laughter as this man goes through total meltdown turning about 6 shades of red. He ran out as we were all about to collapse from laughing. Even the woman got one heck of a laugh out of it.
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Anyways, one night after work she was having problems starting her car (an old Mini) so old Muggins offered to have a look at if for her. I always was a sucker for a pretty face. ::) 
The battery was healthy & churning the old starter motor over like a good'un. Trying to be helpful she got out of the car & said: "I have some jump leads if that's any use". My reply is unrepeatable here. 
