Abbott & Costello

What are you laughing at?

Abbott & Costello

Postby Romulus111VADT » Wed Oct 20, 2004 8:23 pm

Bud Abbott and Lou Costello had a legendary radio sketch "Who's on first?"

If it were upadted to today's environment it might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about uying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer.

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look out the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write roposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes..

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 &4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great! With what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1".

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A FEW DAYS LATER . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

;D
Last edited by Romulus111VADT on Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Abbott & Costello

Postby jimclarke » Thu Oct 21, 2004 1:39 pm

That was excellent!

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Re: Abbott & Costello

Postby Fozzer » Thu Oct 21, 2004 1:47 pm

LOL...LOL...LOL...!

Excel-flippin'-lent... ;D...!
What a larf... ;D...!
Well done... 8)...!

That's definitely one to stick in my "Fun Stuff" folder... 8)...!

Cheers all... 8)...!

Paul.
Last edited by Fozzer on Thu Oct 21, 2004 1:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Abbott & Costello

Postby Romulus111VADT » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:17 pm

LOL...LOL...LOL...!

Excel-flippin'-lent... ;D...!
What a larf... ;D...!
Well done... 8)...!

That's definitely one to stick in my "Fun Stuff" folder... 8)...!

Cheers all... 8)...!

Paul.


Wow, I rated a "Excel-flippin'-lent"....I have arrived... ;D

Glad you like it.

;D
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Re: Abbott & Costello

Postby Fighting_Falcon » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:28 pm

;D ;D ;D ;D, lmao that's funny.
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Re: Abbott & Costello

Postby Travis » Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:55 pm

Oh, that was spectacular! ;D
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Re: Abbott & Costello

Postby Felix/FFDS » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:53 am

The "Who's on First" routine has to be one of the classics of comedy.  I've seen clips of them doing it, and their delivery and timing have me laughing whenever I hear or see them doing it.

Comedians since then have "tried" variations on the theme, but the originals stand out.

I can, however, imagine Abbott and Costello doing this "modern" version ...
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