Statements found in insurance forms

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Statements found in insurance forms

Postby stargazer » Thu Sep 02, 2004 1:03 pm

The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where Newfoundland car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words.

1.  Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

2.  The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

3.  I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

4.  I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

5.  A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

6.  A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

7.  The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

8.  I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother- in-law, and headed over the embankment.

9.  I attempted to kill a fly, and I drove into a telephone pole.

10. I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

11. I had been driving for forty years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

12. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble and my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

13. As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

14. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

15. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other
vehicle.

16. An invisible car come out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

17. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.

18. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

19. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

20. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

21. In indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

22. I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray dogs.

23. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.
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Re: Statements found in insurance forms

Postby ozzy72 » Thu Sep 02, 2004 2:32 pm

These were done by an English comedian years ago called Jasper Carrot, he collected these things from around the world, my favourite was one of his Australian ones "I saw a sad face, slow moving old gentleman, as he bounced off the bonnet of my car!" ;D
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Re: Statements found in insurance forms

Postby Tequila Sunrise » Thu Sep 02, 2004 5:32 pm

lol

7.  The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.


my fav. I remember that from th Jasper Carrot trial, it got repeated not that long ago  ;D
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Re: Statements found in insurance forms

Postby Saitek » Fri Sep 03, 2004 1:18 pm

LOl ;D

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Re: Statements found in insurance forms

Postby mostickity » Sat Sep 04, 2004 12:57 am

ive seen these before. but theyre still hilarious! ;D
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Re: Statements found in insurance forms

Postby Jared » Sun Sep 05, 2004 1:17 pm

lol...
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Re: Statements found in insurance forms

Postby Moach » Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:41 pm

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

OMG i cant stop crying ;D ;D ;D ;D

my favorite is:

3.  I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Re: Statements found in insurance forms

Postby chomp_rock » Sat Sep 11, 2004 9:34 pm

ROFL! #3 is the best!
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