dumb people

What are you laughing at?

dumb people

Postby The Ruptured Duck » Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:19 pm

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentuckybasketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington,DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
--John Wayne
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
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" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"
--George Bush, US President
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing" -Ben Franklin

"Man must rise above the Earth to the top of the atmosphere and beyond, for only
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Re: dumb people

Postby Tequila Sunrise » Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:20 am

lmao  ;D 8) ;D
If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

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Re: dumb people

Postby Moach » Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:37 am

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my tummy hurts ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
If nature wanted a man to fly - It would have given him more money
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Re: dumb people

Postby The Ruptured Duck » Tue Apr 06, 2004 7:43 pm

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

this is my favorite, what the hell were they thinking?
"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing" -Ben Franklin

"Man must rise above the Earth to the top of the atmosphere and beyond, for only
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Re: dumb people

Postby Loser84 » Tue Apr 06, 2004 9:55 pm

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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well I'll be damned......(lives in greenville, SC)
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Re: dumb people

Postby RichieB16 » Tue Apr 06, 2004 11:36 pm

The second one is the most amazing, I can't believe that even Mariah Carey could say something that stupid.
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Re: dumb people

Postby BFMF » Wed Apr 07, 2004 2:04 am

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
--A congressional candidate in Texas.


Spoken like a true politician ;D
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Re: dumb people

Postby stormy » Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:41 am

;D ;D ;D ;D


well I'll be damned......(lives in greenville, SC)

mY FAVE AS WELLLLLLLLLLL.
these are so funny..... ;D ;D ;D ;DLMAO!!!!!
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Women Rule!!!!!!need I say more!!!!!!!
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