My mom sent me this e-mail

[Loafing Smurf]

My mom sends me these joke e-mails all the time, heres one of them.


If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9
months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it
pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories
an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years
longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have
sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

[IcedFoxtrotter]

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

You have to have your head cut off to have sex?! Now that sucks! Abstinace is good you. That's almost as bad as Mr. Bobbit's problem.

[BFMF]

already been posted

[Corsair Freak]

already been posted

[Tequila Sunrise]

ok, suck to be a praying mantis

who asked the butterfly?

[terbert]

Oink, oink, oink I feel sorry for the pig. If there is re- incarnation, I am coming back as myself  ;D

[bm_727]

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9
months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

Hahaha....
Now I finally have the plans to make a secret weapon of mass destruction

[terbert]

Hey bm_727

If you're serious, I could let you have that much gas by the end of next week  That is assuming my wife continues cooking for the next seven days

Tony C

[bm_727]

hey terbert-

How much for the g- wait...you're not involved with the FBI, are you ?  I can't afford for my plans to be discovered by the government :-/...

[Polynomial]

lol

[Skittles]

Being the geek that I am, I'll have to say I disagree with the tounge being the strongest muscle, it's either the Jaw muscles or the heart.

Can I be a pig too?

[bm_727]

No, the tongue is definetly it-