Can you Fix It ?

[ramsgate6]

Came across this article in a UK national paper.
Makes you wonder !!.





After every flight pilots fill in a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problems they may have encountered during the flight.
The mechanics read and then respond on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken to rectify the problem. The pilot then reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.  

Her are a few logged gripe sheets from one of the major UK carriers I am lead to believe.

P= problem encountered by pilot

S=Solution and action taken by engineers

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside tyre.

P:Test flight OK,except auto-land very rough
S:Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P:Something loose in cockpit
S:Something tightened in cockpit

P:Auto-pilot in altitude_hold mode produces a 200ft per minute desent
S:Cannot reproduce problem on ground

P:DME volume unbelievably loud
S:DME volume set to more believable level.

P:Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
S: Thats what they're for.

P:Suspected crack in windshield
S:Suspect you're right.

P:Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed

P:Noise coming from under instrument panel.Sounds like a small person pounding on something with a hammer
S:Took hammer away from small person

P:Target radar hums
S:Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

lol Andy

[Hagar]

Very good athough I have seen it many times before.

As an ex-aircraft engineer I know the problem well. These "gripes" often give the guys in the hangar a good chuckle to relieve the boredom. I never dared to make this sort of comment myself but was often tempted.

[Fozzer]

Very good athough I have seen it many times before.

As an ex-aircraft engineer I know the problem well. These "gripes" often give the guys in the hangar a good chuckle to relieve the boredom. I never dared to make this sort of comment myself but was often tempted.

Hi Doug... ...!
I pick these up articles in my monthly Pilot, Flyer, Todays Pilot, etc, magazines, and I always save them out into my "Favourite Pilot Reports" folder.... ...!
...always good for a laugh... ...!
(The similar sort of thing happens in the mechanics motorcycle world....you would not believe..)... ... ... ...!
LOL...!

Cheers mate...!
Paul.

P.S. ..what is that spanner doing in the crankcase... ....!

[Hagar]

Hi Doug... ...!
I pick these up articles in my monthly Pilot, Flyer, Todays Pilot, etc, magazines, and I always save them out into my "Favourite Pilot Reports" folder.... ...!
...always good for a laugh... ...!

Hi Foz. Despite what they would like us to believe, not all pilots are exactly the brightest banana in the bunch - if you know what I mean.
I have come across some classic examples of this sort of thing in my time. All good for a laugh & it helps make the world go round.

[ATI_7500]

P:Noise coming from under instrument panel.Sounds like a small person pounding on something with a hammer
S:Took hammer away from small person

looool,just imagine that; a dwarf (typical garden dwarf clothes) sitting under the instrument panel and hammering against it....looool!

[Hagar]

looool,just imagine that; a dwarf (typical garden dwarf clothes) sitting under the instrument panel and hammering against it....looool!

Well. I did wonder what the size of the person had to do with it in the first place. I can only assume that in this poor misguided soul's imagination they would have to be small enough to fit under the instrument panel - in order to hit it with a hammer of indeterminate size. The mind boggles.

[denishc]

 I've seen these posted before.  I think they were posted in the 'Funnies' section of the now defunt "Die Staffel" website.

[BFMF]

been posted before

[denishc]

 I forgot to mention that even though they've been posted before they're still funny.