How to get out of a trafic ticket

What are you laughing at?

How to get out of a trafic ticket

Postby Triple_7 » Mon Nov 03, 2003 6:43 pm

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
Triple_7
 

Re: How to get out of a trafic ticket

Postby BFMF » Mon Nov 03, 2003 7:37 pm

Been posted several times too ;)
Last edited by BFMF on Mon Nov 03, 2003 7:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
BFMF
Colonel
Colonel
 
Posts: 16266
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2002 6:06 pm
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: How to get out of a trafic ticket

Postby michaelb15 » Mon Nov 03, 2003 7:44 pm

LOL LOL LOL OLO LOL

I gotta try that one!!!!
I am somwhere I don't know where I am!!!
User avatar
michaelb15
Captain
Captain
 
Posts: 915
Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2003 10:52 pm
Location: Lindsay, Ontario, Canada

Re: How to get out of a trafic ticket

Postby russ » Mon Nov 03, 2003 8:04 pm

Dont you ever dare to try this here in NY :-/.  If you tell this to NYPD officer he will probably take out a gun and shoot you in da face :-/.  I am serious :-[.
User avatar
russ
2nd Lieutenant
2nd Lieutenant
 
Posts: 295
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2002 11:36 am
Location: New York, NY

Re: How to get out of a trafic ticket

Postby chomp_rock » Mon Nov 03, 2003 9:11 pm

LOL!
AMD Athlon 64 3700+
GeForce FX5200 256Mb
1GB DDR400 DC
Seagate 500Gb SATA-300 HDD
Windows XP Professional X64 Edition


That's right, I'm now using an AMD! I decided to give them another try and they
User avatar
chomp_rock
Major
Major
 
Posts: 2411
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2002 2:23 pm

Re: How to get out of a trafic ticket

Postby Ambassador » Tue Nov 04, 2003 4:03 pm

LOL!


;D ;D ;D
Ambassador
 

Re: How to get out of a trafic ticket

Postby Wing Nut » Wed Nov 05, 2003 2:25 am

Funny!  ;D
[img]http://www.simviation.com/phpupload/uploads/1440377488.jpg[/img]
User avatar
Wing Nut
Colonel
Colonel
 
Posts: 12720
Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2002 6:25 am

Re: How to get out of a trafic ticket

Postby Polynomial » Wed Nov 05, 2003 7:26 am

lol very good
User avatar
Polynomial
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1415
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2002 2:29 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Re: How to get out of a trafic ticket

Postby Deputy » Wed Nov 05, 2003 11:43 pm

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!


Try something like that, and, you will be forced out of the car. Any injuries you recieve, not our fault. Its yours. Its not really even funny to joke about. Homicide is not taken lightly, by any law enforcement agency. There is nothing funny about taking the life of another, regardless to how or why it is taken.
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?

Iustita Omnibus
Justice for All

Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.
[img]http://www.simviation.com/yabbuploads/
User avatar
Deputy
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1314
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 7:54 pm
Location: Hillsboro, Oregon


Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 631 guests