Doggie Commandments
* Thou shalt not sneak up on thine owner and lick me on the mouth while I am sleeping!
*Thou shalt resist any and all urges to lift thy leg and water the plants.
* Thou shalt not act half starved and beg mercifully whenever thou watches me eat.
* Thou shalt not roll thy body in any garbage or stinky, smelly materials thy finds strewn about the yard.
* Thou shalt not lie down next to me and begin making crude licking and popping noises.
* Thou shalt not dig up my prized flower beds.
* Thou shalt respect my belongings and not treat my shoes as if they were thine very own chew toy.
* Thou shalt not drink out of the toilet, even if the lid is up.
* Thou shalt keep thy nose out of the garbage can and the cat's litter box.
* Thou shalt give the feline of the household her privacy and not watch or otherwise exhibit signs of curiosity when she is in her litterbox.
* Thou shalt not steal or hide my shoes, and then when confronted, act as if thou is innocent.
* Thou shalt not run away from home in pursuit of a good time. (Thou has been neutered.)
* Thou shalt refrain from making displeasing noises, coughing or gagging while company is present.
* Thou shall not hide thy bones under my pillow or in any other unsuspecting places.
* Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat in the wee hours of the morning.