Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?
Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't do!
What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.
What do you call a lawyer who doesn't know the law?
A judge.