Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!
Everyone is someone else's weirdo.
Never argue with an idiot.. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Be careful . . . a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
So this isn't Home Sweet Home . . . Adjust! *
I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump. *
How can you tell which bottle contains her PMS medicine? It's the one with bite marks on the cap......
