Gripe sheet

[Oz]

After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot
completes, and then the mechanics read and correct the problem and respond in writing on the lower half of the form.

The following complaints and responses are true...

P = The problem logged by the pilot.  
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

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P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

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P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

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P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

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P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.  

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P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.  
S: Evidence removed.

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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.  
S: DME volume set to more believable level.  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P: IFF inoperative.  
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P: Number 3 engine missing.  
S: Number 3 engine found on right wing after brief search.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P: Aircraft handles funny.  
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.  

[Woodlouse2002]

Old but they still make me laugh.

[BFMF]

That's been posted so many times

[Oz]

That's been posted so many times

Well then good for you, now the folks you havent seen it can see it

[Squeek]

Those are the "Actual" airforce complain things at www.schiratti.com look under aviation humor

[Ronnie]

I haven't ever heard any of those. Funny!

[Alonik]

Damn funny man - really made me laugh!!