How To Handle A Speeding Ticket
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following
exchange:
Officer:  May I see your driver's license?
Driver:  I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer:  May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver:  It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer:  The car is stolen?
Driver:  That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the
owner's 
card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer:  There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver:  Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the
woman who 
owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer:  There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver:  Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.  The car was
quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to
handle 
the tense situation:
Captain:  Sir, can I see your license?
Driver:  Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver:  It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain:  Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's
a gun
in it?
Driver:  Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain:  Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said
there's a
body in it.
Driver:  No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain:  I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you
told
him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the
glovebox, and
that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver:  Yeah, I'll bet the lying dirtbag told you I was speeding, too.
			










