by Staiduk » Tue Oct 07, 2008 4:42 am
Animal poo...
About three-four years ago I wrote a letter to Discovery Channel detailing a 'concern' I had with the current trend in their selection of wildlife documentaries. It was entirely tongue-in-cheek of course - I had fun writing it.
I never expected a response; but got one anyway. Fortunately; they got the joke, told me they enjoyed the letter and passed it around a bit. Here's the text:
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[quote]
Dear Discovery Channel:
I am an avid watcher of Discovery Channel. I especially enjoy your documentaries of nature and wildlife (not necessarily the same thing, as any college student knows well) and therefore watch as many of them as possible. There is however a trend developing in these documentaries that I find disturbing; and I thought it would be valuable to bring this to your attention.
The trend is the increasing coverage of animals pooping. For some reason, recent documentarians seem to be taking an inordinate - one could say almost childlike - joy in focussing their camera lenses on the straining hindquarters of everything from shrews to cows to elephants - the last, I have no shame admitting, I found truly horrifying through dint of sheer massive scale. Such a display is amost always followed by an extreme closeup of the results of the target animal's most recent activity.
Thanks to the miracle of High Definition TV, we can now see it steaming lightly in the morning mist as well.
I am uncertain as to the cause of this new phenomenon. Animals are always fascinating of course, and all aspects of their life should be considered equally fascinating. I wonder, however, if a detailed examination of a creature's various bodily orifices and what comes out (or goes in) them should be considered valid television fare. There are of course many scientists who specialize in this field of study. Clearly many learned men and women revel in the mysteries of the lower colon and are utterly enthralled by the steaming, sticky remains of Life In All Its Glory. No doubt there have been magnificent advances made in the comparative study of ungulate versus predatory excremental analysis but this is one area that does not in my opinion need to be on TV; sandwiched between commercials for Taco Bell and whatever movie Pauly Shore is starring in this week. (Though I do admit in terms of subject the three share a remarkable similarity.)
I am certain that this is one area in which we should allow the animals a bit of privacy. While I admit that the sight of hippos, rhinos and giraffes adding to the ecosystem does have a certain entertainment value ("My GOD that is one big rectum!"), I respectfully submit that it has little educational importance.
To choose a random mammalian example; we do not need to see closeups of defacating rhinos because we already know:
a) rhinos poop.
b) Being vegetarians, they poop green.
c) Being large vegetarians, they poop BIG and green.
d) Being extraordinarily large vegetarians, they poop big, green and standing up.
d) Being uncivilized extraordinarily large vegetarians, they are unlikely to use toilet paper, leaves, grass or small furry mammals for the intended purpose.
I would like to stress that I thoroughly enjoy your documantaries; it is simply the regularity (sorry...) of this particular phenomenon that I have an issue with. While it would be unrealistic to expect that you demand documentarians cut back on the poop filming (I can just imagine the memo...); I thought perhaps a simple addition to the pre-show warning might serve as an acceptable compromise. You already issue warnings that some scenes might be disturbing to young, weak-stomached or otherwise socially spineless individuals; I suggest an additional warning tacked on at the bottom: 'May Contain Poop'.
Last edited by
Staiduk on Tue Oct 07, 2008 4:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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