by geckos_ftw » Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:57 am
id be joining because im sick of everyone putting me down :-[ . i figured that the army would give me a fresh start and bleach my head of all the impurities that people have installed.
im sick of being the rejected one. i figured that if i joined, id meet some other girls who are like me, and some guys who dont care that im capable of dump tackling them. desk work doesnt suit me, and because of my personality im pretty much shunted in society. if it weren't for Akula id have no friends at school. as it is, im being forced in to stuff i dont want to do, and i feel that im going nowhere. i want to do something with my life, go somewhere, be part of an active team. im fed up with having to care about what everyone else thinks of me. i cant go to school, don my pe kit and start playing games roughly. i get called a man by people because im a less feminine person and im fed up with it >:( . i prettymuch suck at all sports that require speed, but i do really well if something needs stubbornness and determination.. also, ive thought and thought about what job options i have and i just cant find anything that i want to do because nothing is outdoorsey enough, or active enough. i say to myself "do you really want to be sitting behind a desk for the rest of your life filing paper?" :-? and i know that i dont. ive researched various jobs and nothing suits me. im musical artistic and tomboyish. the music and art industry are very unstable and talent is pi$$ taken when you try to shine through the reams of unskilled tw@ts who get up there.
basically, i want a fresh start, clean slate and the oppertunity to work hard in any weather condition. ive looked at myself and the required personality traits, and it just fits. i get really angry sometimes, and ive found (when at scouts) when i tackle something like, for instance an assault course, that i can focus all my rage at that obstacle and i get through it. i feel embarrassed to just be myself and i know thats not right. in scouts i was able to free myself, and it was good because i excelled on things like night hikes, and camping weekends. it pains me a lot that i have to bottle my true self up and be this...false person. its difficult to keep up, and i thought that if i joined the armed forces, i could just be myself, and achieve what i want to achieve not what someone else wants me to achieve.
its kinda complicated, but i want to join so i can have the freedom of not being tied to a filing cabinet for the rest of my life ;)
as i said im gonna join the local army cadets and get a taster and sort my A-levels out so i have a plan B should i decide that i was wrong.
stubborn as a mule,
determined to the end
and crazy as it gets
sophie ::) :P
im not suffering insanity,
im enjoying every minute of it!
So is your Badger.

:O:O:O WHO BADGERED ME?!?!?!?!