Thanks for the well wishes, people. :D

I'm on the mend but still not as restored as I could be. I've found I'm only able to pop into the forums from time to time, trying to keep up with the threads I was involved in. But, alas, most of them have gotten away from me by now.
I didn't realise the word "crook" would trigger a search in a slang dictionary, I thought it was pretty commonly used in place of sick, unwell, malaised etc.
Anyway, I suppose we do have alot of little ones like that which others aren't familiar with.
I saw the dreaded C*** mentioned a few posts back. We have an expression here for that, which is perfectly acceptable to both sexes. It's "front bum".
