The reason your clock settings are all in grey is because you are probibly in automatic mode, or in safety mode. Change it to manual, and then go down to clock settings. In there set it to CPU/Mem independant. Then go ahead and clock away.
An E6400 should max out somewhere around 3.8 on air, and stock northbridge cooling. The E6600 will hit 4.5 before it chokes. The best clocks are achieved on server boards because of the massive amount of voltage they can deliver, so for max clock, dump SLi and get a server board.
Cheers
Cameron
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