glorious insults

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glorious insults

Postby yancovitch » Sat Jul 11, 2020 2:52 pm

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

''His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx
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Re: glorious insults

Postby Shadowcaster » Sun Jul 12, 2020 10:38 am

Superb :clap: :clap: :clap: :lol: :lol: :lol:
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

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Re: glorious insults

Postby Hawkeye07 » Sun Jul 12, 2020 5:28 pm

Bravo!!! :D :D :D

If I may, let me add one..."He's a hero in his own mind."

One by Winston Churchill I always laugh at... I don't recall the lady but one with whom he had a running feud once remarked "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
to which Mr. Churchill replied "Madam, if I was your husband I'd drink it!" :lol:
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