Look For Me On The Porch

What are you laughing at?

Look For Me On The Porch

Postby Tug002 » Sat Apr 04, 2020 8:30 am

Look For Me On The Porch

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed......

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed......

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again......

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.

For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family..

For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.

And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.

I'm doing it as a public service.

If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

Keep smiling
Tug :)
User avatar
Posts: 730
Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2014 7:34 am
Location: Ontario, Canada. CYSH

Re: Look For Me On The Porch

Postby Fozzer » Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:25 am

Good-on-ya, Tug!.... :lol: ... :lol: ... :lol: ...!

We are all in need of a hearty laugh at this time!

....'im-up-there, is spending far too much time just sitting on the front porch at the moment and ignoring we poor lot down here... :roll: .....

...... :lol: .... :lol: ...!

Take care, all!

Paul...mostly cooking, and gardening when the sun shines...and sleeping in-between times... :D ...!
Win 8.1 64-bit. DX11. Advent Tower. Intel i7-3770 3.9 GHz 8-core. 8 GB System RAM. AMD Radeon HD 7700 1GB RAM. DVD ROM. 2 Terra Byte SATA Hard Drive. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Saitek Cyborg X Fly-5 Joystick. ...and a Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower.
User avatar
Posts: 31926
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2002 3:11 pm
Location: Hereford. England. EGBS.

Re: Look For Me On The Porch

Postby Flying Trucker » Sun Apr 05, 2020 10:51 am

Good one Tug

:clap: :dance:
Cheers...Happy Landings...Doug
Flying Trucker
Posts: 14339
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2005 12:28 pm

Re: Look For Me On The Porch

Postby dadam141 » Sun Apr 05, 2020 11:24 am

NICCCEEEEE!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
2nd Lieutenant
2nd Lieutenant
Posts: 56
Joined: Mon May 13, 2013 5:43 am
Location: vermont

Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 284 guests