I'm not retired yet, but...

What are you laughing at?

I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby OldAirmail » Fri Jun 26, 2015 11:20 pm

Retired Person's Perspective

1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably pissed.

4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

6. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If you find one, what's your plan?

10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.
.. .
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby Anthindelahunt » Sat Jun 27, 2015 12:47 am

Thank you OAM.That is one of the most intelligent things
I have read in some time. :lol:
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby OldAirmail » Sat Jun 27, 2015 12:53 am

Thanks, Anthin.

I had just opened an email. When I stopped laughing, I passed it on.

# 8 was my favorite. :D
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby Anthindelahunt » Sat Jun 27, 2015 1:04 am

I really like number 9.

Anthin. :lol:

Btw.Where in the world do you find some of these gems? :mrgreen:
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby Anthindelahunt » Sat Jun 27, 2015 1:07 am

OH.Number 10 is so spot on.

Anthin. :o
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby pete » Sat Jun 27, 2015 1:40 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. – Leonardo da Vinci
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby ozzy72 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:35 am

Luvvin' it :D
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby Fozzer » Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:50 am

Number 8 for me!.... :dance: ...!

Changed my toilet's name to; "Lou"..... ;) ...!

Paul.... :lol: ... :lol: ...!
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby Tonydb » Sun Jun 28, 2015 10:35 am

brilliant, thanks a lot, so much of it is true :D :D :clap: :clap:
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby Apex » Sun Jun 28, 2015 1:34 pm

This post gets today's 5 beers award.
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby OldAirmail » Sun Jun 28, 2015 1:52 pm

Lets go! :obscene-drinkingcheers: :obscene-drinkingcheers:
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Re: I'm not retired yet, but...

Postby Flying Trucker » Sun Jun 28, 2015 5:21 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :clap: :dance:
Cheers...Happy Landings...Doug
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