Sam Clam and Larry lobster

What are you laughing at?

Sam Clam and Larry lobster

Postby Shadowcaster » Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:22 am

Sam Clam and Larry lobster were the best of friends living at the bottom of the ocean. They were practically inseparable, which explains how they both got caught in a lobster trap together and died together.

Larry Lobster found himself at the Gates of Heaven talking to Peter.

"Larry, welcome to Eternity. Here you will be eternally happy before God."

Larry was overwhelmed by the glorious sights, but one thought crept in, "Peter, I am overjoyed to be allowed the glories of the Kingdom of Heaven, but where is my friend Sam Clam. I wish to be with him at this happy time."

Peter looking a bit puzzled started paging through a large book. After a few minutes he closed that book and pulled out an even larger, thicker black book. Finally he stopped and stabbed at the page, "Ah-ha! Sam Clam is in Hell."

"Hell?" asked Larry Lobster, incredulously. "There must be some mistake, Sam and I were together all the time. How could I and not..."

Peter cut him off, "Apparently Sam lied once and once had an impure thought. Please, Sam is not worthy of you or of this place. Take pleasure in all of the glory."

"Can I at least visit Sam and say goodbye?"

A horrified Peter responded, "Of course not! You cannot visit Hell, you are in heaven. Please Larry, go get your robe, wings, and harp and take refuge in the beauty which awaits you."

Larry acquiesced to Peter, but he remained despondent and sad, despite being in Heaven and all it promised. Larry frequently requested the opportunity to visit his friend Sam Clam. Each time Peter rebuffed him. Larry's depression was so extreme that others in Heaven were not enjoying the afterlife as they had been promised. Eventually God heard of this and summoned Peter.

"Peter, what is wrong with Larry Lobster?" And Peter explained. "Did you tell him it was not reasonable to go to Hell once you had attained Heaven?" And Peter explained that he had. "Then I guess we must make an exception, under certain conditions..." and God explained to Peter what Peter explained to Larry.

"Larry you may go to Hell to visit your friend, Sam Clam. However, you must return before the clock strikes twelve, you must not damage or lose your three Holy possessions: your robe, your wings, or your harp. Do you understand?"

"Oh yes, yes, thank you! Thank you!" and with that Larry rushed down to Hell to visit Sam Clam.

When he got there he was startled to see Sam Clam running a disco. People were dancing and drinking and it was dark so Larry could not find Sam right away. Then from behind he heard "Larry Lobster is that you? I thought you were in Heaven?"

Larry turned around and saw his old friend Sam Clam, dressed to the nines, "Sam I just came to visit and to finally say goodbye."

The two of them talked and reminisced for hours. Larry was enjoying himself immensely, totally oblivious to the time when Sam Clam said "You had better go, it is almost time"

"But I want to stay here..."

"No Larry, this is not your place. There are things here I won't mention. Go back to Heaven and be happy."

So with tears in their eyes they said their good-byes. Larry rushed up to Heaven and reached the Gates just as the clock struck twelve. Peter was waiting.

"Larry, you barely made it," said Peter.

"I know but I..."

"And your robe is filthy, " said a disgusted Peter.

"I can explain, you see..."

"And your wings! One is ripped and the other is practically fallen off," chastised Peter.

"Funny you should mention that, because..."

"And your harp, Larry, where is your harp?" asked a disappointed Peter.

"Oh dear," answered Larry, "I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco."
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Spike Milligan
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Re: Sam Clam and Larry lobster

Postby Fozzer » Thu Apr 16, 2015 11:14 am

..... :lol: ... :lol: ... :lol: ...>>>>>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryF9p-nqsWw

Excellent!... :lol: ...!

Paul.... :mrgreen: ...!
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Re: Sam Clam and Larry lobster

Postby Apex » Thu Apr 16, 2015 11:35 am

Ha ha ha ha x100. I had heard a shorter version of this long, long ago, but seeing this version in print sure was a kicker. It's right up there with "Dine on the Sotted Lion" & "I don't have mahogany more."
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Re: Sam Clam and Larry lobster

Postby G.K. » Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:54 pm

:lol:


.....and: Chess nuts boasting in a hotel foyer
.....and: Follow the yellow pricked toad
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Re: Sam Clam and Larry lobster

Postby Anthindelahunt » Thu Apr 16, 2015 6:05 pm

Pardon me boys.Is that the cat who chewed your new shoes.

Anthin. :lol:
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