50 Shades of Grey (by a man)

[Webb]

If 50 Shades Of Grey Was Written By A Man

'I want it now against this wall!' she ordered, 'And keep it up as long as possible.'

'Don't worry,' I said, 'I know how to put up a shelf.'

[G.K.]

Made me chuckle............


'Harder!' she cried, gripping the workbench even tighter, 'Harder!' 'Alright,' I said, 'What's the gross national product of Nicaragua?'

[Fozzer]

"Nearly there..nearly there", she screams...

"Now pass me that cross-headed screwdriver", I reply...

Paul.... ...!

[StargazerWoods]

"I'm going to tie you up. I'm going to tie you up so hard, you'll barely be able to move an inch. And when I come back, it may be an hour it may be a day... But when I do, I'm going to give you a thrashing the likes of which you've never seen before," he said to his motorboat as he secured it to the pier.