How to survive a bear attack.

[OldAirmail]

[PhantomTweak]

Or always hike with two things, a partner and small pistol. In case of bear attack, shoot the other hiker in the knee and run like mad! Works like a dream...not that I, personally would ever do that...

Pat☺

[BLAZE]

Or always hike with two things, a partner and small pistol. In case of bear attack, shoot the other hiker in the knee and run like mad! Works like a dream...not that I, personally would ever do that...

Pat☺

LOL!
That reminds me of a line in a movie that goes something like.. "I don't have to run faster then the bear, I just have to run faster then YOU" ..

A bear attack, one sure fire way to cure your constipation. .. .. ..

[Webb]

I don't see a lot of bears but if I am ever attacked by an alligator I would jump in the golf cart and floor it. (I have actually been close to an alligator attack)

[Fozzer]

I don't see a lot of bears but if I am ever attacked by an alligator I would jump in the golf cart and floor it. (I have actually been close to an alligator attack)

Alligators and Sink Holes....

....and Lt. Horatio "H" Caine....(Miami-Dade Police Department)

Avoid Florida!.... ...!

Paul... ...!

[expat]

Or always hike with two things, a partner and small pistol. In case of bear attack, shoot the other hiker in the knee and run like mad! Works like a dream...not that I, personally would ever do that...

Pat☺

To cut a long story short...........I was many years ago in Alaska for a Cope Thunder exercise. During the "wildlife briefing" (Alaska is like Australia, everything wants to kill you.. ) One of our pilot stood up and asked the best place to shoot a bear if they had to. It could be quite a while before an ejected pilot is picked up in the Alaskan wilds. Well explained the RAF Regiment sergeant, unlike the American pilots who had .45 with them, British pilots had 7mm Walther PPKs. Best thing to do is take the magazine out as this makes the pistol lighter (pilots all taking notes at this point..... ) and pack a jar of honey in your flying suits......(more notes and head nodding..... ) If in the unlikely event you eject and are confronted my a bear, take out your pistol.......(still notes being taken )......dip it in the honey......(slight pause in note taking)........and throw it at the bear. At this point said Rodney accused the briefing Sergeant of not taking the briefing seriously. "One the country sir" said Bernie (a good mate from Birmingham so the accent really added to the following), "if you shoot a fooking bear with a fooking a 7mm PPK you all you are going to do is piss it off and then it will rip your fooking head off"..........Rodney sat back down, briefing over.....

Matt

[Hawkeye07]

Or always hike with two things, a partner and small pistol. In case of bear attack, shoot the other hiker in the knee and run like mad! Works like a dream...not that I, personally would ever do that...

Pat☺

To cut a long story short...........I was many years ago in Alaska for a Cope Thunder exercise. During the "wildlife briefing" (Alaska is like Australia, everything wants to kill you.. ) One of our pilot stood up and asked the best place to shoot a bear if they had to. It could be quite a while before an ejected pilot is picked up in the Alaskan wilds. Well explained the RAF Regiment sergeant, unlike the American pilots who had .45 with them, British pilots had 7mm Walther PPKs. Best thing to do is take the magazine out as this makes the pistol lighter (pilots all taking notes at this point..... ) and pack a jar of honey in your flying suits......(more notes and head nodding..... ) If in the unlikely event you eject and are confronted my a bear, take out your pistol.......(still notes being taken )......dip it in the honey......(slight pause in note taking)........and throw it at the bear. At this point said Rodney accused the briefing Sergeant of not taking the briefing seriously. "One the country sir" said Bernie (a good mate from Birmingham so the accent really added to the following), "if you shoot a fooking bear with a fooking a 7mm PPK you all you are going to do is piss it off and then it will rip your fooking head off"..........Rodney sat back down, briefing over.....

Matt

I missed this one Matt! Too funny!!!!

Hawkeye

[PhantomTweak]

if I am ever attacked by an alligator I would jump in the golf cart and floor it. (I have actually been close to an alligator attack)

When I was working on the Aerostat system, we went to Cape Canveral for a publications review/conference, as well as a meeting they set up with one of our suppliers who was sending us defective equipment on a consistant basis. While we were there, we got a tour of the Cape, including a visit to their aerostat pad, and the control room for it. They used an old V2 pad and the control room was in the bunker for it. The whole thing was underground, but they mounded it way up for the entrance area. Had nice grass on it they mowed, all that. Apparently, there was an alligator living in the drainage pond about 20' from the door, and it liked to crawl up onto the mound above the entrance door to catch the moring sun. Disconcerting to walk towords that door with a gator right above it staring at you!

We also got to watch a shuttle launch at the famous press/viewers area right outside the gate. Awesome view! Even more of an awesome view at the llittle burger joint that is right there...Sailor's Choice, I think...All the waitresses were topless!! Great burgers too, I think...big, I remember that...
Apparently not something the Cape likes advertised, it was never in the live TV shows broadcast from that area during the Apollo launches, which I was permitted to stay home fro school to watch.

Sorry, I ramble through the memories sometimes...Never once did I see Lt. Horatio Cane though, but i never broke the law while I was there, that I recall...

Pat☺

[Webb]

Heck, you have just never seen a South Florida golf course. They all have alligators. When they get too big or too aggressive they are removed. You don't want to get sued because someone got bit by an alligator on your property.

[Bass]

This has not that much to do with humour, sorry
http://www.thelocal.se/20140511/bear-an ... ner-attack
but RUNNING away from a bear with cubs, or a bull with females in heat, you will be attacked! I've always learned running is a bad idea!

Then killing those bears, i dont know!
What do you mean?

[logjam]

Hikers visiting Lillooet, BC are briefed to carry with them a whistle and a bracelet of bells to scare away the bears. One group of hikers asked me how to tell the difference between a Grizzly bear and a brown bear. I explained to them you can tell the difference by their poop. The difference being, a brown or black bear has poop loaded with berries. A grizzly bear has poop loaded with whistles and bells.

[Steve M]

Hikers visiting Lillooet, BC are briefed to carry with them a whistle and a bracelet of bells to scare away the bears. One group of hikers asked me how to tell the difference between a Grizzly bear and a brown bear. I explained to them you can tell the difference by their poop. The difference being, a brown or black bear has poop loaded with berries. A grizzly bear has poop loaded with whistles and bells.

Rumour has it, a hungry black bear will kill you and eat you on the spot, a Grizzly will bury you and wait because your just an appetizer..

[H]

Rumour has it, a hungry black bear will kill you and eat you on the spot..

I walked the five miles to my previous nightshift job (five years ago). To make this short, one evening I became aware that something in the adjacent woods was following my progress as I descended the road down the hill. The next evening, while still on the top of the hill, a pickup truck passed me and stopped a ways ahead where the road started downhill. In its headlights was a waiting black bear which, reluctantly, reversed its stance, then slipped back across the road; I walked on by without incidence although sure it was watching.
For my next adventure over the hill, nearing the spot where the bear had been chased back across the road by the truck, I heard a rustling as if I'd scared something of smaller size -- then there was a brief squeeling. I continued walking but faced the direction of the squeel and I growled. The bear growled back. I'm not sure if it was saying, "Thanks, I've got it," or "I've got it -- it's mine!" Either way, it seems I'd provided sacrificial favor.

[Steve M]

Rumour has it, a hungry black bear will kill you and eat you on the spot..

I walked the five miles to my previous nightshift job (five years ago). To make this short, one evening I became aware that something in the adjacent woods was following my progress as I descended the road down the hill. The next evening, while still on the top of the hill, a pickup truck passed me and stopped a ways ahead where the road started downhill. In its headlights was a waiting black bear which, reluctantly, reversed its stance, then slipped back across the road; I walked on by without incidence although sure it was watching.
For my next adventure over the hill, nearing the spot where the bear had been chased back across the road by the truck, I heard a rustling as if I'd scared something of smaller size -- then there was a brief squeeling. I continued walking but faced the direction of the squeel and I growled. The bear growled back. I'm not sure if it was saying, "Thanks, I've got it," or "I've got it -- it's mine!" Either way, it seems I'd provided sacrificial favor.

8)

Great story, H, and like the reference to 'sacrificial favor'..It's the way of the world now.

[CHUCK79]

I was always told to climb a tree to tell the difference.....if the bear follows you up the tree then it's a black bear. If it knocks the tree down, it's probably a Grizzly