The TOMATO GARDEN

[OldAirmail]

An old gentleman lived alone and wanted to plant his annual tomato garden.

But it was very difficult work, as the ground was so hard.

Unfortunately, his only son who used to help him was in prison.


The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:


Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like
I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year.
I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would be over.
I know that you would be happy to dig up the plot for me, as you have in the past.
Love, Papa


A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden.
That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie


At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.

They apologized to the old man and left.


The next day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

[Fozzer]

..... ....!

I have used that same tongue-in-cheek rouse on some of my Forum Posts in the past, regarding my ex-Wives, in an attempt to get my back garden dug up in preparation for vegetable planting....

..but, so far, no Officers of the Law seem to have read any of my posts, and turned up to do the job for me.... ....

Which, maybe, is just as well!..... ....!

They may discover some dastardly deed that I had long forgotten about, amongst the weeds!... ...!

Paul... ... ...!

[Bass]

.....All i can say is, a tomato plant is poison, and the fruit is 90% water!!
Made with love

[logjam]

Can't rely on the police.
I tried to outpace a cop who followed me from Cache Creek. When eventually he pulled me over near Hat Creek turn off, he said the usual "where's the fire?"
I told him that it was all a mistake, as my wife had left me last week for cop. I thought it was him bringing her back.

[Fozzer]

Can't rely on the police.
I tried to outpace a cop who followed me from Cache Creek. When eventually he pulled me over near Hat Creek turn off, he said the usual "where's the fire?"
I told him that it was all a mistake, as my wife had left me last week for cop. I thought it was him bringing her back.

.... ... ... ...!

Wonderful!... ...!

Paul.... ...!

[H]

:lol: .....All i can say is, a tomato plant is poison, and the fruit is 90% water!!
Made with love

I have forgotten the author (it can be googled) but, I expect, you'd be quite ratified in that belief with the statistically-minded The Dreaded Tomato Addiction, to greatly abridge (the percentages within it, nor here, are currently accurate but satisfy the gist):

85% of people who have died in auto accidents have eaten tomatoes;
90% of aircraft fatalities have eaten tomatoes;
90% of all drowning fatality victims have eaten tomatoes;
95% of all hospital deaths are patients who have eaten tomato or tomato products;
95% of all people who have died in the past century have eaten tomatoes or tomato-ingredient products.

For those yet unconvinced of this dreadful demise, replace the water with tomato juice in the bowl of a goldfish; within five minutes or so, the goldfish will be dead (if you wish to wait, the fish should surface, floating on its side). If still unconvinced, find a bowl large enough to encase your head, or use a pail, and fill it with tomato juice; bend down and submerge your own head in the tomato juice for ten minutes...

[mustangaroo]

Nothing beats greed. My youngest son was 2 years old and had a 1917 half dollar in his mouth....found while scratching in the dirt of my back yard. The next day my oldest boy who was 6 at the time had dug enough holes to shame a gopher looking for more. This yarn of yours rings true even if it was a yarn.