The Famous Small Garden Animals of History Debate

[Hagar]

Hmmm. I told you I'm not violent. I don't usually go around mugging Chelsea Pensioners or anyone else. I could afford to buy a red jacket for whatever good that would do & I don't have enough puff to blow a brass instrument of any description. S'pose I could invite the local hunt round but they never catch anything anyway. Then I would have to fork out for the stirrup cups & whatever else. Probably do more damage than the fox ever did. Any more bright ideas?

[Woodlouse2002]

A pet tiger?

[Craig.]

You could just stick a lifesize cardboard cutout of Mr Fozzer in your garden, that might work

[Hagar]

A pet tiger?

That's more like it. Mind you I couldn't afford to feed it & it might eat me when it got hungry. Then there's all that tiger poop to clear up. Not such a good idea methinks.

[Woodlouse2002]

Have you considered planting a few landmines? That would do the trick.

[Craig.]

Have you considered planting a few landmines? That would do the trick.

But all that digging :-/

[Hagar]

You could just stick a lifesize cardboard cutout of Mr Fozzer in your garden, that might work

Now why didn't I think of that? It might just work. Good thinkin' Craig.

Just one teeny problem. How do I go about acquiring the aforesaid life-sized cardboard cutout? Do you think they have them on Ebay?

[Craig.]

Do you think they have them on Ebay?

Not fully clothed the things that man does to make a few quid. :-/ i'm sure if you ask him nicely he will provide you with a nice copy though.

[Hagar]

Not fully clothed the things that man does to make a few quid. :-/ i'm sure if you ask him nicely he will provide you with a nice copy though.

That might not be such a good idea now I come to think of it. I have the neighbours & their grandchildren to consider. Far too scary. It would even scare me if I forgot it was there.

[Craig.]

I suppose it could be considered cruel and unusual punishment under international law? and cruelty to animals according to the RSPCA.

[Hagar]

I'm sure you're right. Let me try this electronic gizmo & see how I get on. I can try the other suggestions if that doesn't work. I rather like the idea of landmines. How would I go about procuring some? Nah, forget it. Knowing me I would forget they were there & blow myself into orbit. I prefer it down here.

Once the fox is dealt with I have other problems you might be able to help with. Know anything about ant's nests?

[ozzy72]

Doug just watch some episodes of Road Runner, I'm sure you'll find some inspiration

[C]

How would I go about procuring some? Nah, forget it. Knowing me I would forget they were there & blow myself into orbit. I prefer it down here.

Try here - you can at least buy a Sea Harrier...


Disposal Services Agency

[Hagar]

Hmmm. As I remember that fox or coyote whatever it is keeps getting blown up on a regular basis. Then he reappears as large as life the following week. This ACME outfit doesn't fill me with confidence somehow.

[Hagar]

Try here - you can at least buy a Sea Harrier...


Disposal Services Agency

Thanks Charlie. Much as would like my own Sea Harrier my garden isn't exactly Shoreham Airport. They would also have to knock my home down to get it in there.