Ramblings of a Retired Mind

[Romulus111VADT]

[center]I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.

I can't afford one.

So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust.'

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?'

Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.'

I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor!'

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals or looking for a loophole.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

' Enjoy Your Days & Love Your Life.'

[ShaneG_old]

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.

I can't afford one.

So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

Instantly reminded me of my dad!  He has one of those blue tooth things, and when you can't see the side of him that he wears it on, it looks like he's talking to himself randomly.
He talked about wanting one of them for so long, so the family chipped in and bought him one for christmas, now he can't find his garage door opener.

[skoker]

So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

Blue teeth is what you get when you drink the stuff they put in the airplane toilets!

[Fozzer]

...one of my many Grand Daughters gave me a Mobile 'Phone for emergency use, 3 years ago, incorporating a

[Hagar]

[quote]...one of my many Grand Daughters gave me a Mobile 'Phone for emergency use, 3 years ago, incorporating a

[Fozzer]

[quote][quote]...one of my many Grand Daughters gave me a Mobile 'Phone for emergency use, 3 years ago, incorporating a

[Hagar]

Perhaps you should check that it's still working Paul. With mine I have to use it every so often (180 days) or they disconnect me.

Never fear, Doug...

I get one of the children to quickly dial a call for me on my Mobile thingamajig once every three months to keep my connection intact, and my

[Fozzer]

Perhaps you should check that it's still working Paul. With mine I have to use it every so often (180 days) or they disconnect me.

Never fear, Doug...

I get one of the children to quickly dial a call for me on my Mobile thingamajig once every three months to keep my connection intact, and my

[T1MT1M]

Perhaps you should check that it's still working Paul. With mine I have to use it every so often (180 days) or they disconnect me.

Never fear, Doug...

I get one of the children to quickly dial a call for me on my Mobile thingamajig once every three months to keep my connection intact, and my

[Mushroom_Farmer]

Perhaps you should check that it's still working Paul. With mine I have to use it every so often (180 days) or they disconnect me.

Never fear, Doug...

I get one of the children to quickly dial a call for me on my Mobile thingamajig once every three months to keep my connection intact, and my

[ozzy72]

I loved the one about beer cans..... seems to work for me