It's the first I've seen some of these, others in different versions:
1. Southwest Air has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,
"People, people we're not picking out furniture here. Find a seat and get in it!"
2. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds -- but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you and, remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
3. On Southwest Airlines, just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said,
"That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault and it wasn't the flight attendant's fault. It was the asphalt."
4. Said a Southwest Airlines Flight 245 employee,
"To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
5. As the plane was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a voice came over the loudspeaker,
"Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
6. "Your seat cushions can be used for floatation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
7. On landing, the stewardess said,
"Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
8. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
9. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and, if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
10. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
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Flight Simulator and other chat
some new some posted a few times
