Adventures in Medicine: take 2

[H]

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand."
He read the 20/20 line perfectly.
"Now your left," I requested, followed by another flawless read, "Now both."
There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both of his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester , MA

[jimclarke]

Several years ago I had to have some medical procedure done which required the use of suppositories.  The ladies at the office gave me the package and said, "You know how to take these, right?"
I replied with a serious face, "Yeah, I chew them up really good before I swallow them!"  They said, "Noooo...."  I'll never forget the looks on their faces.  Of course I told them I was joking and we all had a good laugh.  I have heard of people that actually did eat them though.

Jim

[myshelf]

the patient has a severe case of diarrhea, so the doc writes out a recipe and sends him home.

a couple hours later he goes over his notes and sees he made mistake. so he calls the patient at home and says "the recipe, i made a mistake, it won't help you, it's a sedative."
the patient answers "don't worry, it helps me good. i still got it bad, but now i don't care anymore."