We've been a little rough on Esselbach lately so I've taken about twenty minutes to make this post up for him...
Dracula, a staple character of Hallowe'en, has a source relationship to an actual person, Vlad the Impaler. Vlad was known to execute "criminals" by impaling them on a stake, reportedly while he ate, whereupon, he would dip his bread in their blood.
One day a young wife begged Vlad to spare her husband's life, "'Twas only a loaf of bread he stole, my Lord. We are destitute and have our young child to feed."
Seemingly moved, Vlad spoke, "His execution has been set for tomorrow. If you will bring me a decent loaf of bread at noon, you may take your husband home."
Thanking Vlad, the woman went off in search of the loaf of bread. With no money to her name, she went knocking at doors all night, vainly begging at each of the few that opened. Worried and weary by eleven o'clock the next morning, she finally slipped through the back door of a baker's shop. Seeing a freshly baked loaf, and the baker not looking, she quickly grabbed it and ran out.
Noon was close upon her and she was desperate, running frantically the whole way. It was already noon when she ran screaming to Vlad with nigh the last of her breath, "I've got it, Lord. Here's your bread!"
"Thank you," Vlad responded, taking it from her.
"Oh, my Lord," she gasped, "I'm just so glad to save my husband's life."
"Save his life?"Vlad retorted as he yanked off a piece of the bread and dipped it into the blood before him, "You may take his body, my dear, but he's Already Been Posted!"
Enjoy your Hallowe'en. 8)
(and Esselbach, dear fellow, I JUST made that one up on wordpad but, of course, you couldn't be reading it if it wasn't already posted)
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Well done - I couldn't make stuff like that up. 
