Some people are only alive because
it is illegal to shoot them
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
You're just jealous because the voices
only talk to ME.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
BEAUTY is in the eye of the beer holder.
The more you complain,
the longer God makes you live.
I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice):
We've got what it takes
to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff.
Laziness pays off now.
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
As long as there are tests,
there will be prayer in public schools.
Hang up and drive.
Your kid may be an Honor Student,
but YOU'RE still an idiot.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Don't drink and drive...
You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Always remember you're unique...
Just like everyone else.
HONK
If You Want To See My Finger
Keep honking while I reload.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
I don't have a license to kill,
I have a learner's permit.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Who were the testers for
Preparations A through G?
Madness takes its toll.
Please have exact change.
EARTH FIRST!
We'll stripmine the other planets later.
If you drink, don't park.
Accidents cause people.
If you can read this
I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Save the whales!
Trade them for valuable prizes.
Whitewater is over
when the First Lady sings.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her
...or something like that.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Never drink and derive.
If we are what we eat,
I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders.
Don't re-elect them!
it is illegal to shoot them
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
You're just jealous because the voices
only talk to ME.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
BEAUTY is in the eye of the beer holder.
The more you complain,
the longer God makes you live.
I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice):
We've got what it takes
to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff.
Laziness pays off now.
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
As long as there are tests,
there will be prayer in public schools.
Hang up and drive.
Your kid may be an Honor Student,
but YOU'RE still an idiot.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Don't drink and drive...
You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Always remember you're unique...
Just like everyone else.
HONK
If You Want To See My Finger
Keep honking while I reload.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
I don't have a license to kill,
I have a learner's permit.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Who were the testers for
Preparations A through G?
Madness takes its toll.
Please have exact change.
EARTH FIRST!
We'll stripmine the other planets later.
If you drink, don't park.
Accidents cause people.
If you can read this
I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Save the whales!
Trade them for valuable prizes.
Whitewater is over
when the First Lady sings.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her
...or something like that.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Never drink and derive.
If we are what we eat,
I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders.
Don't re-elect them!
Yes some of them are dumb, deal with it.
