Female Comebacks

[Wing Nut]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

[Sock]

If only you knew how many times women have said those things to me...

Good though.

Sock

[Squeek]

i wish i had the guts to get that far... but hey, i have time

[russ]

If only you knew how many times women have said those things to me...
Sock

I feel so sorry for you...

[farmerdave]

Here's some more I found in Garfield's Insults, Put-downs, and Slams:

man:Will you go out with me?

woman:I'm single, not desperate.
            Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
            I'd rather shave my head with a chainsaw!
            No, it's too dangerous.  I might yawn myself to death.
           Sure, than I'll donate my life's savings to gypsies.
Man: Have'nt we met?
Woman: In your dreams and my nightmares.

Man: What would you say if I asked you out?
Woman: Nothing.  I can't talk and gag at the same time.



Dating Dodges

Sorry, I dont date lower life forms.

Make my day.  Ask someone else out tonight.

I'd consider going out with you, but I'm still in my right mind.

[Polynomial]

If only you knew how many times women have said those things to me...

Good though.

Sock

but ur only 15 . . . . . . . .

[Jared]

[russ]

but ur only 15 . . . . . . . .

No woned WOMEN say it to him.